Life After Radiation? Prayerfully Hopeful

I finished my last brain and spine radiation on Monday. I think I was so excited about being finished yesterday that I may have overdone it a little, but who cares? I have nothing but time to recover...

The expectation is that radiation continues to work for the next month or so and my doctor feels that I should see more benefit as the swelling from the radiation goes down. That is our prayer around here these days.

I am slowly coming out of the fog that has been my existence over the last 3 weeks - hurray. My doc wants me to continue with 2 steroids per day, then cut to one next week. If I notice pain, then I should go back up to 2 and just deal with 2 per day. Otherwise we will work our way back down to 1, then 1/2, then none (ideally). I am ready to give up my chipmonk cheeks for sure!

Faron shaved my head again. Saturday morning my hair practically jumped off my head and ran away. We knew hair loss was a possibility since they were radiating my brain, but it was hanging in there really well. Then I noticed my scalp starting to hurt, but I just assumed it was the sunburn from Radiation. But when the first clump jumped off my head, and we realized all hair was abandoning ship,we shaved. Instant relief. Now I can put my goop on my head to relieve sunburn as well.

I started back with hospice yesterday and should get a lightweight wheelchair tomorrow. I am comforted by hospice because I know I can pick up the phone and call someone if I have any questions or concerns. I also like that they deliver everything - meds included. And I am glad to see my team again.

Since I have been doing the radiation, I have been feeling so much weaker. Again, the doc thinks it is due to swelling around tumor sites which should decrease and improve my mobility, but I still think I need the wheelchair - too unsteady with walker right now.

That is it for us right now. I have a follow-up next month. We are praying for healing - for my body and the world in general! Love and thanks for everyone's support.

May you be blessed as you bless others!
Kelli

Oh How We Love Radiation!

This is just a quick update blog around how radiation is going. Please keep in mind that the radiation around the covering of my brain and in my lower spine is simply to relieve symptoms I am having and not to cure my cancer or put it into remission. I think very highly of all of my doctors, but I see the humor in their protecting what I think of as "their stats".

I have clearly become God's stat to them.

The only benefit I have seen after 9 zaps is that I can swallow better (don't get me wrong - swallowing is clearly important). Chewing is difficult, but mostly because I get tired of doing it and just quit. I see milkshakes in my future - not so bad!

My rad doc has requested that I increase my steroids by 1 pill per day. His reasoning is that the radiation itself causes swelling that interferes with the results we are looking for. He wants me to try the increased steroid for 3 days and we'll see if that helps. Apparently patients get the benefit of radiation well after the radiation stops (and the swelling stops). He just does not want me to have to wait. The steroids will decrease any swelling - we hope.

Therefore, we are on strict pill management: get up between 4-6 am (I wake up here anyway), EAT (yuck) and take steroid. EAT between 8-10 and take a steroid; EAT between 12-2 and take a steroid. Then maybe I won't be up all might on steroids. ALSO take anti-nausea one hour before being zapped. this pill will knock me out for the rest of the day.

Days and nights getting mixed up here, so help me with my countdown. Including today 5 more zaps. Then we are finished - I PRAY. Since we have weekends off, that puts my last zap next Monday at 4:30.

If anyone mentions the ringing of a bell, punch them for me. There will be no bell ringing ever again for this girl!Somene rang the bell yesterday and I immediately started praying for them.

SPeaking of prayers - thank you!
Until next time - may God Bless us all!
Kelli
P.S. Frannycat - if you are reading this, please post a comment with your email address. I can't find it anywhere and would like to get back in touch as well. I will not post the comment but delete it after I write down your address!

On Planting Seeds and Such

Let's start with the medical stuff...
I start radiation tomorrow and my doc is hopeful that I might see some relief from the symptoms by this weekend. How wonderful would that be?!!! Thank you Lord.

The doc I am talking about is my radiation doc (Perkins). I have no doubt that God worked through that man 6 years ago to save my life. There is protein in blood that sometimes/maybe can be used to indicate cancer activity. Dr. P ordered that blood test in May of 2005. My medical oncologist, Dr. T, was quite put out because this test is notoriously wrong. However, because the level was elevated, we had to follow up. Six weeks later - higher. Not concerning or anything, just higher. Test after that - higher. Time to start looking. We found the cancer had spread everywhere, but there wasn't a lot of cancer anywhere. With weekly chemo for 8 months, the tumors shrunk to nothing and I was off chemo until cancer returned in 2008. Guess how we found that cancer had returned? Same protein. At no time did I experience any symptoms of growing cancer - just that tumor marker that gave us an early heads up. Anyway - it was good to see Dr. P again and thank him in person. I figure I have a good 3 extra years hugging my family so far. Pray for your doctors.

There is even more to my THANK YOU LORD, sentiment. For the entire story, we have to go waaaaay back to high school when I don't think anyone could have mistaken me for a Christian. However, I did have a good friend - let's call her Liz (because that's her name) - who tried to witness to me on several occasions. I wanted nothing to do with it. God was for people who...let's just not go there right now as I don't really want to think about the person I was. Anyway, my friend's mother, Betty, has been sold out for Christ for as long as I have known her. I appreciate that she never made me feel uncomfortable, but she would ask about my relationship with God all the time. I hope I was respectful even if her words went in one ear an out the other.

In 1986, Betty - in response to a direct order from the Holy Spirit - wrote a book called "Ten Women of God". I can remember being in Liz's pickup truck one afternoon when she told me God had told her mom to write a book and I had no doubt her mom was crazy. I was only mildly surprised when she really did it.

SKIP about 25 years here...

From that book began the Tenth Woman Ministry (www.thetenthwoman.com). Part of that ministry includes rallies and retreats. The Rally for last weekend was scheduled 4-5 months ago and I sent in my registration in knowing very well that I had no idea what kind of shape I was going to be in.

Then, about 3 weeks ago, this MD anderson stuff popped up. I know in the previous blog I talked about how nervous I was with timing, but what I didn't want to mention is that I was also worried that I would end up with things scheduled last Friday such that I could not go to the Rally. I just didn't want to broadcast that we weren't going to be home until we got back. As you know by now, God handled everything in His perfect way with His perfect timing.

The Rally was great - we had our hearts broken in the morning by Barbara's story, but we were inspired by her grace and love of the Lord through such difficult times in her life. In the afternoon, we were reminded of what it means to FIX your eyes upon Jesus with skits, teaches, and some quiet time with God. The Tenth Woman Team put on a fabulous Rally.

After the Rally, Liz took me home and we had a wonderful time laughing at me. We talked about her witness to me all those years ago and how hostile I was to her (unfortunately true). We laughed about how, when I first became a Christian, I did not know how to tell people about Jesus. I figured that everyone in this country - where we celebrate Easter and Christmas pretty regularly - has heard of Jesus and if they want to know more, well, I was certainly no expert. At the end of that first Bible Study, Christian Believer, I remember vividly that the members of the group each told what they thought your strengths might be. Several people said they could see me spreading the word. I clearly took that as something they were trying to come up with to be nice because that was CLEARLY NOT ME! Oh, how God must have laughed, knowing what was to come.

In 2002 after I started my cancer treatments for the first time, Betty called and asked if she could interview me for her Tenth Woman Series Videos. She said she didn't know if she would use the interview, but I didn't care about the video. I was excited to spend some time with Betty and I knew it would be a hoot. I had no idea she was going to get so personal, but I had read her book and I trusted her editing, so I tried to be as honest as I could. I look back at that and am reminded how God truly changes hearts. Ten years earlier I don't imagine I would have thought it possible to spend hours talking about God in my life and having a blast!

Here we are at God's (and our) belly laugh...that interview as been edited into a form that is currently on a ham radio network being broadcast around the world. "My" particular interview was apparently broadcast last week - right before the Rally - all over the world. Of course this is not "my" interview - all of this is God's. His Work. His Plan. All I did was say yes to something that sounded like fun. Think God is laughing at me? I KNOW IT! We are all laughing at me.

To all you seed planters out there - please keep planting those seeds. You really don't know what will grow, but God sure does. I thank God for all the people out there who planted those seeds! In Matt 13 Jesus talks about the parable of the Sower. In verse 19 He talks about those that hear the message but don't understand it (me - but thanks for trying Liz. Apparently something stuck). I don't really think verses 20-21 apply to me, but boy-oh-boy verse 22 has me all over it! Now I have my sights set on verse 23.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Please send a prayer up that the radiation helps.

Love to all! Kelli