Time Off from a Ghost

I have decided to take some time off of my relationship with MD Anderson. We have arrived at a point in our relationship where I am just not getting much out of it and I believe it is causing me more harm than good. I firmly believe a good mental attitude is important in fighting any disease, and I have simply lost that lovin' feelin' for the whole thing - I dread the drive and have no optimism for the "treatments" and the testing. I know the brain treatments are not working because my symptoms are getting worse. The next step would be brain radiation, but I am not mentally up for that right now. I just need a break.

My main doctor, Dr. T., insisted on a referral to hospice. After he peeled me off the ceiling, he and my mother-in-law explained that hospice helps you live. They bring you your medications and any equipment you might need to help you - like a shower seat. My perception of hospice care was being bed-ridden and hooked up to tubes while a nurse reads a book beside your bed waiting for you to die. Apparently I am mistaken. They are sending a nurse out tomorrow for an initial assessment - I will let you know how it goes. I can decide to go back to MD at any time...

...except that there was some confusion when I called the neuro-oncology department to cancel all the testing and treatments because they put me into the system as deceased. I had no idea. When I checked the mail on Saturday, there was a sympathy card from my regular doctor (Dr. T.) and his nurse M. I remember thinking how weird it was to get the card. Then I thought about how surprised M was going to be when she checked her email because I sent her a message about something the day before!

First thing this morning I sent her another email joking about the card and let her know I am not dead - still alive and causing as much trouble as ever. She called immediately and we had a good laugh. She had gotten the email from me on Friday and it freaked her out (she thought I was dead). Then someone else told her that sometimes emails get stuck in the system and take a while to arrive, so I could have sent the email before I "died" and she was just now getting it. It briefly crossed her mind that she was getting email from a ghost.

Although we had a good laugh about it, I am now wondering how hard it is going to be to get my status changed back to the living. They still haven't changed my home phone number from 9 years ago (we have moved three times since then). I imagine myself sitting in someone's office down there trying to convince them I am indeed alive. On the other hand, maybe I can get my hands on my life insurance??

Love to all!
Kelli

P.S. The folks responsible for erroneously reporting me dead called this afternoon to apologize. They now have me back among the living in the system, but said I would probably be receiving more sympathy cards. They were very appreciative that I laughed about it. Laugh or cry...