Random Thoughts
There have been a couple of email and facebook "conversations" I have been involved in recently that are driving this blog. If I offend anyone, I am truly sorry and I hope these musings are received in the spirit in which they were written. It is hard to truly convey emotional thoughts in a one dimensional medium for those of us who are not writers!
It seems to me that whenever someone famous battles with cancer we hear the words "courageous" and "brave" in most of the media coverage. There was a People magazine story detailing Elizabeth Edwards' Brave battle and an ABC story about her Courageous battle. Same thing with Michael Douglas.
As a current cancer warrior, I find those descriptions odd. I suppose if you are close to someone going through the battle - I definitely agree about the battle part - it may seem that way, but I would disagree. The men and women in our armed forces would be described as courageous and brave because they volunteer to put their lives on the line for others. They risk leaving a hole in their families to protect our freedom and our way of life. They volunteer to face uncertainty and to risk their lives for their fellow soldiers. They have a pretty good idea they will probably face death when they sign up. That is brave and courageous.
My brother - serving another tour overseas - is brave and courageous.
I am not. In no way did I volunteer to get cancer to further or protect a worthy cause. I absolutely did not chance leaving a hole in my family to further cancer research or anything like that. This cancer mess is clearly against my will.
I would describe anyone fighting cancer as someone with great stamina and perseverance. I suppose stamina and perseverance aren't particularly moving adjectives, but I feel it demeans bravery and courage when they are used to describe a cancer fight. There is nothing brave or courageous about putting up with all the side effects to fight for your life. What else are you going to do? There is definitely stamina and perseverance! It takes both to keep going back again and again, knowing what you are in for!
Maybe some people think it is brave to face certain death (as many cancer patients do) without showing fear. In that case, I would propose that everyone is brave because - guess what? We are all facing certain death, but we don't run around looking scared.
I take that back - I sometimes feel brave when I wander out in public with no hair and a face that doesn't work, but that's a personal issue!
What I am about to share next will definitely get some people riled up, especially if you are close to a victim of a serious crime.The second topic I want to ramble about is why God allows pain, suffering, and death. It is so hard to stomach the news anymore, especially here in Houston where rape, murder, and child abuse take up most of the newscast. WHY?
I really can't speak for God on this issue, but I have some ideas that give me a peace about it. (Yes - peace).
I was listening to a sermon years ago, and I am sorry I do not remember the speaker (maybe someone out there can help me out with that). The idea is that we would think it very strange if someone showed up on an airplane flight and started decorating their seat with family photos, brought along their television, brought their favorite pillow and blanket, etc. Why would we think that strange? Because we all know that an airplane flight is temporary. How crazy would we be to spend so much wasted time for such a short journey? See where I am headed?
We spend almost all of our time on earth as if this were the final destination rather than a journey through a physical God-made creation. I am clearly as guilty as the next person as I am reminded every time we move (why do we need all this stuff??!!)
SO keep in mind as you keep reading that the main idea behind the rest of my thoughts are that this short amount of time we spend here is truly temporary.
The book of John has some reminders in there. John 15:19 "...As it is, you do not belong to the world..."
John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
To me, those verses are a reminder that this reality we are living in is temporary. Whatever our problems, our horrors, our grief - only temporary.
Furthermore, to me, God seems to feel we need to experience pain. Why would such a loving God allow pain?
I can only reconcile a loving God with allowing pain if the pain is temporary and necessary for a MUCH GREATER joy later.
John 16:21-22 "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy...Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." NO ONE WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR JOY. This passage reminds me that the joy is definitely coming and will be permanent (for followers of Christ).
My OWN PERSONAL thinking on that is that God allows us to experience pain so we will have some INKLING of what eternity will be like without God in it. I imagine that the grief we feel when a loved one dies is NOTHING compared to the grief of eternity without any love in it at all. That the horror we feel when unspeakable acts are committed are NOTHING compared to the horror we will feel in an eternity without a loving God in charge. Of course, none of this would be necessary if sin were not in the (temporary) world, but it is.
We all know how we are. When things are going well, we tend to forget about God somewhat - we put him on the back burner. Ok, maybe you don't, but unfortunately I do. I find myself in constant communication with God when I am feeling my worse. When I feel so bad all I can do is breathe, I am in CONSTANT prayer without a thought for ANYTHING ELSE. When I feel great, I give God the credit and I rejoice, but I also rejoin this earthly life with its earthly demands. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but simply we are typically closer to God when pain is involved (at least that's how I am).
The pain does not even have to be our own pain, but can be the pain of those we love as well. I know I am personally drawn to God in prayer when I focus on the challenges faced by other people I know - don't we all lift others up in prayer? We also lift up prayers of rejoicing and praise to God when something works out well. However, the prayers of rejoicing typically follow some time of challenge.
I personally think this is why so many rich and famous celebs have such a hard time with their personal and spiritual lives (and by spiritual, I mean truly spiritual and not "new age" spiritual, Oprah). I think when you "don't need God", you have a hard time in your relationship with Him!
I have considered that God allows the evil to save us. I would also submit that those who are the most passionate in their love for the Lord are often people who have seen the evil up close - maybe not in their own lives, but in the tragedy of life. The volunteers who serve for the red cross, or doctors without borders, or any number of other charities, churches, and organizations that minister to the poor and suffering daily.
I imagine a special place in heaven for the innocents who suffer that others may be saved.
"Now is your time of grief (temporary), but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy (permanent)." Thank You, Jesus!
Another though I have is of God the Father doing what is best for my soul - not my body or my family - but my soul. Suppose God knows that there will be an event in my life that will truly test my faith or (God forbid) result in my "falling from His Grace." Would it not be an act of love to take me now?
Maybe that sounds like an uncaring God to you, but when I think of how temporary life is here and how high the stakes are for ETERNITY, I think God would let anyone suffer (temporary!) to save souls (forever!).
These thoughts from a chemo-addled brain on a lack of sleep.
Love to you all. May you feel the presence of God daily.
Kelli
It seems to me that whenever someone famous battles with cancer we hear the words "courageous" and "brave" in most of the media coverage. There was a People magazine story detailing Elizabeth Edwards' Brave battle and an ABC story about her Courageous battle. Same thing with Michael Douglas.
As a current cancer warrior, I find those descriptions odd. I suppose if you are close to someone going through the battle - I definitely agree about the battle part - it may seem that way, but I would disagree. The men and women in our armed forces would be described as courageous and brave because they volunteer to put their lives on the line for others. They risk leaving a hole in their families to protect our freedom and our way of life. They volunteer to face uncertainty and to risk their lives for their fellow soldiers. They have a pretty good idea they will probably face death when they sign up. That is brave and courageous.
My brother - serving another tour overseas - is brave and courageous.
I am not. In no way did I volunteer to get cancer to further or protect a worthy cause. I absolutely did not chance leaving a hole in my family to further cancer research or anything like that. This cancer mess is clearly against my will.
I would describe anyone fighting cancer as someone with great stamina and perseverance. I suppose stamina and perseverance aren't particularly moving adjectives, but I feel it demeans bravery and courage when they are used to describe a cancer fight. There is nothing brave or courageous about putting up with all the side effects to fight for your life. What else are you going to do? There is definitely stamina and perseverance! It takes both to keep going back again and again, knowing what you are in for!
Maybe some people think it is brave to face certain death (as many cancer patients do) without showing fear. In that case, I would propose that everyone is brave because - guess what? We are all facing certain death, but we don't run around looking scared.
I take that back - I sometimes feel brave when I wander out in public with no hair and a face that doesn't work, but that's a personal issue!
What I am about to share next will definitely get some people riled up, especially if you are close to a victim of a serious crime.The second topic I want to ramble about is why God allows pain, suffering, and death. It is so hard to stomach the news anymore, especially here in Houston where rape, murder, and child abuse take up most of the newscast. WHY?
I really can't speak for God on this issue, but I have some ideas that give me a peace about it. (Yes - peace).
I was listening to a sermon years ago, and I am sorry I do not remember the speaker (maybe someone out there can help me out with that). The idea is that we would think it very strange if someone showed up on an airplane flight and started decorating their seat with family photos, brought along their television, brought their favorite pillow and blanket, etc. Why would we think that strange? Because we all know that an airplane flight is temporary. How crazy would we be to spend so much wasted time for such a short journey? See where I am headed?
We spend almost all of our time on earth as if this were the final destination rather than a journey through a physical God-made creation. I am clearly as guilty as the next person as I am reminded every time we move (why do we need all this stuff??!!)
SO keep in mind as you keep reading that the main idea behind the rest of my thoughts are that this short amount of time we spend here is truly temporary.
The book of John has some reminders in there. John 15:19 "...As it is, you do not belong to the world..."
John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
To me, those verses are a reminder that this reality we are living in is temporary. Whatever our problems, our horrors, our grief - only temporary.
Furthermore, to me, God seems to feel we need to experience pain. Why would such a loving God allow pain?
I can only reconcile a loving God with allowing pain if the pain is temporary and necessary for a MUCH GREATER joy later.
John 16:21-22 "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy...Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." NO ONE WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR JOY. This passage reminds me that the joy is definitely coming and will be permanent (for followers of Christ).
My OWN PERSONAL thinking on that is that God allows us to experience pain so we will have some INKLING of what eternity will be like without God in it. I imagine that the grief we feel when a loved one dies is NOTHING compared to the grief of eternity without any love in it at all. That the horror we feel when unspeakable acts are committed are NOTHING compared to the horror we will feel in an eternity without a loving God in charge. Of course, none of this would be necessary if sin were not in the (temporary) world, but it is.
We all know how we are. When things are going well, we tend to forget about God somewhat - we put him on the back burner. Ok, maybe you don't, but unfortunately I do. I find myself in constant communication with God when I am feeling my worse. When I feel so bad all I can do is breathe, I am in CONSTANT prayer without a thought for ANYTHING ELSE. When I feel great, I give God the credit and I rejoice, but I also rejoin this earthly life with its earthly demands. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but simply we are typically closer to God when pain is involved (at least that's how I am).
The pain does not even have to be our own pain, but can be the pain of those we love as well. I know I am personally drawn to God in prayer when I focus on the challenges faced by other people I know - don't we all lift others up in prayer? We also lift up prayers of rejoicing and praise to God when something works out well. However, the prayers of rejoicing typically follow some time of challenge.
I personally think this is why so many rich and famous celebs have such a hard time with their personal and spiritual lives (and by spiritual, I mean truly spiritual and not "new age" spiritual, Oprah). I think when you "don't need God", you have a hard time in your relationship with Him!
I have considered that God allows the evil to save us. I would also submit that those who are the most passionate in their love for the Lord are often people who have seen the evil up close - maybe not in their own lives, but in the tragedy of life. The volunteers who serve for the red cross, or doctors without borders, or any number of other charities, churches, and organizations that minister to the poor and suffering daily.
I imagine a special place in heaven for the innocents who suffer that others may be saved.
"Now is your time of grief (temporary), but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy (permanent)." Thank You, Jesus!
Another though I have is of God the Father doing what is best for my soul - not my body or my family - but my soul. Suppose God knows that there will be an event in my life that will truly test my faith or (God forbid) result in my "falling from His Grace." Would it not be an act of love to take me now?
Maybe that sounds like an uncaring God to you, but when I think of how temporary life is here and how high the stakes are for ETERNITY, I think God would let anyone suffer (temporary!) to save souls (forever!).
These thoughts from a chemo-addled brain on a lack of sleep.
Love to you all. May you feel the presence of God daily.
Kelli
posted by Kelli @ 10:10 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:34 PM,
Dawnette Nardini-Nelson said…
You are an amazing writer Kelli and an eloquent one at that! And like it or not, you have a great spirit of ministering about you as well! Thank you for sharing this blog in particular. It's interesting how God can lead you to what it is you may be needing most in any given moment, even if it comes in the form of an enlightened friends blog!!! I love you and admire your stamina! ;)
Dawnette
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