What a Relief!!
God is just so GREAT! I am so relieved right now I can't stand myself. It has been a trying week as I have been battling my patience and my reliance on the Lord.
To backup a bit, mom and I went to see my brain and spine doctor on Monday. I decided that the symptoms of the cancer in my brain were decreasing my quality of life to the point that I was ready to go back and seek more treatment. I can't hear unless people speak slowly - giving my brain time to process the sounds. Talking on the telephone is nearly impossible now, as is hearing the television. Connor and Faron are adjusting to looking at me and slowing their speech, but it sure is frustrating.
My balance is such that I really shouldn't take a step without the walker. I took a bad fall a week ago and still have to take pain meds for my back. My arm looks like someone beat me up (I guess I did!)
The doctor said although he did not know if radiation would make my symptoms better, he was fairly sure the radiation would slow the progression. At least that's something. My insurance would not authorize the spine test he wanted, but he said we should not wait for that test and go forward with the brain radiation - we can do the spine radiation if needed once he fights the insurance company for the test.
In summary, the feeling I got was that brain radiation should be started ASAP and then we'll go from there. When he left my room MOnday afternoon, he told me to wait in the room until they scheduled with the radiation folks and he would see me in a month. Radiation on the brain only takes 10 days (as opposed to the breast which took 6 weeks).
Of course, that was not to be! His nurse came in and explained that since it had been more than 3 years since I had seen the radiation folks, I had to be scheduled as a new consult. ???? I have only been going to that place for 9 years. There is nothing new about me and MD! Apparently the schedulers could not schedule an appointment on the computer - they have to call the radiation department and talk to someone and the appointment blocks out more time. The problem with initial consults from a patient's point of view is that they take forever to get scheduled. In my experience, the minimum time it has taken for an initial consult with a new doctor is three weeks. The nurse sent me home and said to call back the next day. If I could tell you how many times I have heard that....the anxiety started to kick in, but this time I immediately started praying.
Tuesday - no word.
Do you ever have times in your life when you know - you KNOW - that this too shall pass, yet you also know that you are going to be challenged? I knew it. I could feel the doubts pouring in from the enemy. I was feeling that I had waited too long to start treatment and now I was going to have wait even longer. I knew that God was in control, but I still wanted to go down there, camp out at someone's doorway, and not leave until I knew something. I wanted to call and bother someone until I had answers. I could imagine not getting an appointment until a month from now - initial consult and all.
This time I prayed. All Tuesday, all Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning I sent a very nice email to the nurse we met on MOnday. She sent a response that she would get back to me by the end of the day.
Wednesday night - no further response.
Woke up at three thirty this morning and prayed. I told God how nervous I was and that I knew it was wrong to doubt Him. I told Him I knew He was in control. I told Him "I believe - help my unbelief!" I told Him "I trust, help me trust more!"
At two o'clock my mother-in-law and I went out to lunch. I just had to get out of the house and get my mind off things. As soon as we sat down, they called. My appointment is Monday (Praise God) and it is with the same radiologist I had 9 years ago (Praise God). I am just so thankful to the Lord. This is totally His doing.
If you are so inclined tonight when you go to sleep, say a little praise prayer for me.
Will let you know more on Monday.
Much love,
Kelli
To backup a bit, mom and I went to see my brain and spine doctor on Monday. I decided that the symptoms of the cancer in my brain were decreasing my quality of life to the point that I was ready to go back and seek more treatment. I can't hear unless people speak slowly - giving my brain time to process the sounds. Talking on the telephone is nearly impossible now, as is hearing the television. Connor and Faron are adjusting to looking at me and slowing their speech, but it sure is frustrating.
My balance is such that I really shouldn't take a step without the walker. I took a bad fall a week ago and still have to take pain meds for my back. My arm looks like someone beat me up (I guess I did!)
The doctor said although he did not know if radiation would make my symptoms better, he was fairly sure the radiation would slow the progression. At least that's something. My insurance would not authorize the spine test he wanted, but he said we should not wait for that test and go forward with the brain radiation - we can do the spine radiation if needed once he fights the insurance company for the test.
In summary, the feeling I got was that brain radiation should be started ASAP and then we'll go from there. When he left my room MOnday afternoon, he told me to wait in the room until they scheduled with the radiation folks and he would see me in a month. Radiation on the brain only takes 10 days (as opposed to the breast which took 6 weeks).
Of course, that was not to be! His nurse came in and explained that since it had been more than 3 years since I had seen the radiation folks, I had to be scheduled as a new consult. ???? I have only been going to that place for 9 years. There is nothing new about me and MD! Apparently the schedulers could not schedule an appointment on the computer - they have to call the radiation department and talk to someone and the appointment blocks out more time. The problem with initial consults from a patient's point of view is that they take forever to get scheduled. In my experience, the minimum time it has taken for an initial consult with a new doctor is three weeks. The nurse sent me home and said to call back the next day. If I could tell you how many times I have heard that....the anxiety started to kick in, but this time I immediately started praying.
Tuesday - no word.
Do you ever have times in your life when you know - you KNOW - that this too shall pass, yet you also know that you are going to be challenged? I knew it. I could feel the doubts pouring in from the enemy. I was feeling that I had waited too long to start treatment and now I was going to have wait even longer. I knew that God was in control, but I still wanted to go down there, camp out at someone's doorway, and not leave until I knew something. I wanted to call and bother someone until I had answers. I could imagine not getting an appointment until a month from now - initial consult and all.
This time I prayed. All Tuesday, all Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning I sent a very nice email to the nurse we met on MOnday. She sent a response that she would get back to me by the end of the day.
Wednesday night - no further response.
Woke up at three thirty this morning and prayed. I told God how nervous I was and that I knew it was wrong to doubt Him. I told Him I knew He was in control. I told Him "I believe - help my unbelief!" I told Him "I trust, help me trust more!"
At two o'clock my mother-in-law and I went out to lunch. I just had to get out of the house and get my mind off things. As soon as we sat down, they called. My appointment is Monday (Praise God) and it is with the same radiologist I had 9 years ago (Praise God). I am just so thankful to the Lord. This is totally His doing.
If you are so inclined tonight when you go to sleep, say a little praise prayer for me.
Will let you know more on Monday.
Much love,
Kelli
posted by Kelli @ 3:31 PM
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