Sometimes God really freaks me out!

Have you ever fasted before? On purpose and not for dietary reasons? Me neither.

I fasted for the first time on Monday - all day. I guess it was technically more than one day, but that's not the point. The point is that I have never been interested in or felt the need to fast. I was forced to fast once when I was 16 and did a three week Outward Bound course in the Colorado Rockies, but that doesn't count as it was pretty much against my will.

About 2 weeks ago I was in the grocery store and saw a book on fasting (as part of worship to God - not as a health thing). I guess I had always thought of fasting as an "old testament" kind of thing since it is everywhere in the old testament. When I brought up the idea of fasting to my dear friend - let's call her Mary - she encouraged me to read the book of Esther (in the bible) again.

So I bought the book on fasting, brought it home, and laid it on the shelf where it went untouched for about a week. One night I couldn't sleep, so I started reading the book. Although I have read the new testament and have participated in various Bible studies, I guess I never really paid careful attention to the wording in Matthew 6. Just as Matthew 6:2 says "When you give.." and Matthew 6:5 says "And when you pray...", Matthew 6:16 says "When you fast..."

It does not say "if you fast..." it says "WHEN you fast..."

Hmmm...

Last Sunday night I did not have a good night, so I finally just got up early Monday morning and finished reading the book on fasting. I remember thinking maybe fasting was something I needed to try "someday", but then I got one of those lightning bolts thoughts and I felt the need to start fasting RIGHT NOW. Not tomorrow, not later today, RIGHT NOW.

I immediately thought of all the reasons I should not fast - the main one being that I get very nauseated when my stomach gets empty. Since fasting is more than doing without - it is also about prayer and focus on God - I thought maybe I should just focus on God for the day. Another bolt - FAST!

So I submitted to what could only have been the Holy Spirit because I was NOT looking forward to a day of fasting.

I dedicated my fast to several issues going on in the lives of people I know. My friend Mary has been feeling ill and I dedicated lots of prayer time to her. Her son has had some MAJOR issues - mainly drug addiction, rebellion, and a commitment to atheism. He just got back from a retreat and we continue to pray for sobriety and salvation through Jesus. Her husband's trip, my health, the spirit of God making Himself known to another friend of mine - all lifted in prayer as I humbled myself before the Lord by fasting.

There were a few times I almost threw up, but prayer and club soda saved me.

When my husband came home and I announced I would be fasting, he was quite surprised, especially since I made him a fabulous dinner of baked fish and hot and sour soup. I strained my soup and ate the broth.

I talked to Mary after the fast (I did not tell her or ANYONE except my husband) and she reported feeling much better (I still did not tell her).

After our conversation I prayed to God that I did not understand the purpose of fasting. Didn't he hear our prayers regardless? My understanding is that fasting is a way of worshiping the Lord, a way of denying thy self and offering a sacrifice, however small.

Basically, I told the Lord I did not understand, but if my friend Mary's son accepted Jesus, I would take that as a sign and make fasting a part of my worship to Him.

Several hours later - you guessed it - the email from Mary came under the title "Praise Report". Her son accepted Jesus several days before on his trip. He was waiting to tell them until his father returned home from a trip. Since then he has become active with the church youth and i am still freaking out.

I know that he accepted the Lord prior to my fast. But a deal is a deal....

Any other thoughts out there?

Chemo yesterday

Chemo went just fine yesterday, but I had another reminder that MD Anderson is a huge massive organization that can be very frustrating. This is the second round of the drug I am on. I was expecting an experience very similar to the last infusion - the first round.

During the last infusion, the nurse packed my hands and feet in ice and told me that although it was not written on the order from the physician, they ALWAYS pack your hands and feet in ice with this particular chemo (to reduce the blistering caused by the chemo). I am all in favor of reducing the blisters, so I played along.

Yesterday, my nurse didn't mention the ice. When I asked her about it, she said it was not on the doctors orders. I tried to explain the situation calmly and logically, but she just seemed offended that I was questioning her. We kind of went round and round - all I wanted was an explanation as to why someone thought it was necessary last time and it is not necessary this time. She kept telling me she would get me the ice if I wanted it and I kept telling her I didn't want it unless I needed it. Round and round.

Luckily there was a shift change and my next nurse was snappier and took the time to investigate. It turns out that the drug I am on is used very often by the OB/GYN docs for cancer and their dosages are MUCH higher than the dose I am on. Therefore, they ALWAYS use the ice. Problem solved. No ice for me and we will see how my hands and feet handle it.

I think I mentioned last time that the mother of my sister-in-law was receiving chemo at the same time I was. She was on the floor right below me. I guess it was convenient for Kristi to pop back and forth between us, but the stress of both of us dealing with cancer has been hard on her as well. She has great faith and is a rock about these things and I love her dearly, but she could use some prayers for strength as well. Her mom's cancer is responding to treatment - YAY! Once they get the lung cancer under control, they will move on to treating the breast cancer if necessary. Seriously! Can you imagine?

I thought last night was going to be tougher than it was. I can feel the pain in my joints and bones returning and the nausea started kicking in. However, the pain never got that bad and I took a nausea pill. I just drank lots of water and peed all night - overall pretty good!

Thanks to all who pray! God listens.
Much love! Kelli

The Good Life

I have been blessed with the good life!

Faron, Connor and I hauled the bay boat down to Corpus (Portland) Thursday (June 24) for a couple of days of fishing. At first it seemed as though the trip was cursed because we kept having one problem after another with the boat. The additives they put in fuel now (thanks to the corn lobby) tear up 2 stroke boat motor fuel pumps. After replacing that, we had to replace the carburetor because of the fuel pump. Then the trailer lights wouldn't work and we couldn't figure out why. During the fishing trip the next day Faron lost his wading belt (it came undone) and then he got pooped on by a seagull (OK - that part was funny).

HOWEVER, it was an absolutely gorgeous day. The dolphins were playing, pelicans were diving, sting rays were swimming, and we caught fish. It was one of those days that just makes you feel close to God - as if he created the day, the peace, the quiet, the beauty just for me. Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hand." Romans 1:20 "For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse". Amen.

Scooter, Kristi, and the girls joined us and we spent a couple of days at Casa de Baffin outside of Riviera, Texas. The house is right on Baffin bay, lighted fishing pier with cleaning station, lots of mesquite trees and constant breeze. The kids caught lots of trout off the pier and I spent much of my time lying in the hammock, enjoying the breeze and the scenery. I HIGHLY recommend it! www.casadebaffin.com. The picture of the kids was taken just inside the house - those are some beautiful kiddos! We all came home feeling rested and restored!

I saw my doc today and blood work looks good to continue this chemo. The side effects were pretty rough the 3-4 days after my last chemo, but I have been feeling pretty good these last two weeks. The major side effects for me were bone and joint pain. What I meant to say is bone and joint PAIN!!!! The minor side effects were nausea and mouth sores (yum!). However, I can live with these side effects - it could definitely be worse! AND - my hair is growing back! Maybe someday I will post a new picture when I stop looking like a boy!

I go back tomorrow for my next "treatment" (poison). My poor sister-in-law will take me down there and be with me to get started, then go see her mother who will start her chemo about an hour after mine! I guess it will be a chemo party...although I would rather have a hangover than the side effects afterward!

God gave me a special gift today! I was heading down to MD early because of the weather. About 10 minutes after I left, I realized I had forgotten my cell phone and my Bible (my friend, Nicole, and I have been having a debate about something and so I needed to read Galations again). I initially decided not to go back to get them, but then I got the lighting bolt/God-type thought that I needed to go back. I have learned to listen to those bolts.... when I got down to MD Anderson and parked in my favorite spot (on the third level), I found the elevator doors locked!?? Luckily, someone came out and when I got to the reception desk they already knew about it. Their comment was "we know and we have been telling security those doors need to be unlocked. We can't believe it hasn't been fixed yet!" Hopefully by now you are getting the sense that divine timing is at work here. After I gave them my blood sample and went down to get some lunch, I ran into someone from Portland - Connor's Sunday school teacher Janet (from when he was about 4 years old). WHAT A GIFT! We would have completely missed each other if the timing had not been perfect.

I ate lunch with Janet and her sisters and got caught up with some Portland news. For those of you who know Janet - she is fine. She was there to support one of her sisters (prayer opportunity!)

For all you prayer warriors out there - pray this chemo works! I should be scheduled for testing before the next round at the beginning of August, so we will know if it is working then. Will keep you posted...God Bless!