The hands of the Potter
It's hard to believe I haven't posted a blog since March 7! I had a great spring break after my week off from chemo...I can't believe how quickly I bounced back. The varsity girls' soccer team made it to the regional semi-finals, so we have been playing soccer until last Tuesday night which is why I haven't posted in so long...by the time the week flies by and the weekend gets here, I am POOPED!
I haven't been going to church very much because I feel so terrible on the weekends that the LAST thing I want to do is get dressed and put on makeup. I know God doesn't care, but I don't want to scare people! My eyelashes and eyebrows are gone with the rest of my hair and I think I look pretty scary without a little touchup. Anyway, we have been watching Joel Osteen (New Lakewood church in Houston) and Micah Davidson (Real Life Fellowship in Corpus) every Sunday morning. I had been thinking about this blog for a week or so and knew what I wanted to express to you, and then Joel Osteen had a sermon about this very thing! The basic idea (which is contrary to my understanding of Methodist doctrine and causing some inner conflict) is that God indeed does test you...which is understandably how I have been feeling. I don't mean this in a bad way and I am not at all angry with God, although all of this does make me tired, but how in the world would you know if you are growing spiritually if there isn't some conflict?
I really believe our true character reveals itself when times are pretty tough and our backs are against the wall. Sometimes we really need to see that inner character - and compare it to the character we used to be. Isn't it pretty easy to be happy and nice to everyone when things are going our way? We are comfortable slipping the homeless guy at the intersection a little extra cash and some bottled water. We throw in with the salvation army when have the comfort of cash in our pockets and we know the ATM is right next door. When I am certain of my next paycheck, I am generous...but what happens when I am not sure? Do I feed my brother or house my sister when I cannot really feed or house my own family?
What does it really mean to love my neighbor? Do I love him just like family? Maybe that's not such a good thing for him! Do I give to him until I have nothing, or until I think that's enough? Do I give all and decide God will provide? Do I give some and decide that's all I will provide?
Faron and I have been going through what most people would consider an unbelievable experience, especially since we live in the great 'ole US of A. When we decided to move from Houston to Portland, out timing was way WRONG. We couldn't buy a house when we moved there because the market was so strong, but then we couldn't sell in Houston when we wanted to move home because the market was saturated. So we found a couple that we really thought was the answer to a prayer for both of us. They had been treated unscrupulously by other people and just wanted to buy a house in a nice neighbothood (or so we thought). We just wanted to sell to some nice people and not have to make two house payments.
About a year ago, the man - who was the only breadwinner in the family - had a heart attack. He had been at his new job less than a year, so missing work definitely affected his income and they got behind in their rent payment. Faron and I truly struggled over when we would pursue eviction - we just couldn't afford two house payments for very long, but felt terrible about evicting them. Thank God we had the good sense to buy our little (I mean little) cabana in Portland! After LOTS of prayers by all of us, some charities stepped up and helped them out until they could get back on their feet and we came to an agreement about how they could get caught up in back rent over time.
Last September, they had another setback and could not pay October rent. Apparently the wife had a recurrence of cancer and since they had to let insurance expire they had no coverage. We didn't know this until they could not make their October payment. Again, we felt so terrible, we left them alone and they paid November, but then everything fell apart and we had to start the eviction process. At least, that's how we felt...but again, What does it really mean to love your neighbor?
Here is a little something you may not know: if your renters file for bankrupcy, all eviction proceedings come to a screeching halt until you HIRE a LAWYER and go to court to get you and your house removed from bankrupcy protection, which takes about another two months. Keep in mind that we didn't start eviction proceedings immediately - and they waited until the day Faron drove all the way to Houston for the eviction hearing to file bankrupcy.
The windup is that it took us almost six months to get them out of our house (where they have been living rent free) and I am having a hard time remembering to love my neighbor! I am definitely frustrated with our legal system and had been seriously considering some form of civil disobedience - thank goodness it didn't come to that! (Thanks Tom Bridges)
I am sharing all of this so you will know that we have been under some serious stress over the last six months which has given us the opportunity to reflect on our character. James 1:12 says "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." Isaiah 48:10 tells us "I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this."
For any of you who knew me even several years ago, I want to apologize and assure you I am not the same person I was thanks to Jesus Christ. The person I was would have found some way to exact revenge on the people living in my house rent free for six months. The person I was would have freaked out over the return of cancer and probably had a major meltdown. The person I was would have stayed up every night worrying about how the bills would have been payed and worrying about if I was even going to have a future.
The person I am prayed for the people living in my house rent free...the person I am laughed when I found out I had cancer again and rejoiced that I had so many new sisters-in-Christ during this time of struggle...the person I now am clings to words from the Bible such as Jeremiah 29 verse 11 - - - "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
God bless you all - God loves you all! Kelli
I haven't been going to church very much because I feel so terrible on the weekends that the LAST thing I want to do is get dressed and put on makeup. I know God doesn't care, but I don't want to scare people! My eyelashes and eyebrows are gone with the rest of my hair and I think I look pretty scary without a little touchup. Anyway, we have been watching Joel Osteen (New Lakewood church in Houston) and Micah Davidson (Real Life Fellowship in Corpus) every Sunday morning. I had been thinking about this blog for a week or so and knew what I wanted to express to you, and then Joel Osteen had a sermon about this very thing! The basic idea (which is contrary to my understanding of Methodist doctrine and causing some inner conflict) is that God indeed does test you...which is understandably how I have been feeling. I don't mean this in a bad way and I am not at all angry with God, although all of this does make me tired, but how in the world would you know if you are growing spiritually if there isn't some conflict?
I really believe our true character reveals itself when times are pretty tough and our backs are against the wall. Sometimes we really need to see that inner character - and compare it to the character we used to be. Isn't it pretty easy to be happy and nice to everyone when things are going our way? We are comfortable slipping the homeless guy at the intersection a little extra cash and some bottled water. We throw in with the salvation army when have the comfort of cash in our pockets and we know the ATM is right next door. When I am certain of my next paycheck, I am generous...but what happens when I am not sure? Do I feed my brother or house my sister when I cannot really feed or house my own family?
What does it really mean to love my neighbor? Do I love him just like family? Maybe that's not such a good thing for him! Do I give to him until I have nothing, or until I think that's enough? Do I give all and decide God will provide? Do I give some and decide that's all I will provide?
Faron and I have been going through what most people would consider an unbelievable experience, especially since we live in the great 'ole US of A. When we decided to move from Houston to Portland, out timing was way WRONG. We couldn't buy a house when we moved there because the market was so strong, but then we couldn't sell in Houston when we wanted to move home because the market was saturated. So we found a couple that we really thought was the answer to a prayer for both of us. They had been treated unscrupulously by other people and just wanted to buy a house in a nice neighbothood (or so we thought). We just wanted to sell to some nice people and not have to make two house payments.
About a year ago, the man - who was the only breadwinner in the family - had a heart attack. He had been at his new job less than a year, so missing work definitely affected his income and they got behind in their rent payment. Faron and I truly struggled over when we would pursue eviction - we just couldn't afford two house payments for very long, but felt terrible about evicting them. Thank God we had the good sense to buy our little (I mean little) cabana in Portland! After LOTS of prayers by all of us, some charities stepped up and helped them out until they could get back on their feet and we came to an agreement about how they could get caught up in back rent over time.
Last September, they had another setback and could not pay October rent. Apparently the wife had a recurrence of cancer and since they had to let insurance expire they had no coverage. We didn't know this until they could not make their October payment. Again, we felt so terrible, we left them alone and they paid November, but then everything fell apart and we had to start the eviction process. At least, that's how we felt...but again, What does it really mean to love your neighbor?
Here is a little something you may not know: if your renters file for bankrupcy, all eviction proceedings come to a screeching halt until you HIRE a LAWYER and go to court to get you and your house removed from bankrupcy protection, which takes about another two months. Keep in mind that we didn't start eviction proceedings immediately - and they waited until the day Faron drove all the way to Houston for the eviction hearing to file bankrupcy.
The windup is that it took us almost six months to get them out of our house (where they have been living rent free) and I am having a hard time remembering to love my neighbor! I am definitely frustrated with our legal system and had been seriously considering some form of civil disobedience - thank goodness it didn't come to that! (Thanks Tom Bridges)
I am sharing all of this so you will know that we have been under some serious stress over the last six months which has given us the opportunity to reflect on our character. James 1:12 says "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." Isaiah 48:10 tells us "I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this."
For any of you who knew me even several years ago, I want to apologize and assure you I am not the same person I was thanks to Jesus Christ. The person I was would have found some way to exact revenge on the people living in my house rent free for six months. The person I was would have freaked out over the return of cancer and probably had a major meltdown. The person I was would have stayed up every night worrying about how the bills would have been payed and worrying about if I was even going to have a future.
The person I am prayed for the people living in my house rent free...the person I am laughed when I found out I had cancer again and rejoiced that I had so many new sisters-in-Christ during this time of struggle...the person I now am clings to words from the Bible such as Jeremiah 29 verse 11 - - - "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
God bless you all - God loves you all! Kelli
posted by Kelli @ 7:28 PM
2 Comments:
At 9:09 AM,
Anonymous said…
Amen!
I can certainly understand that need to get some sort of justice for the wrong doings that happens to us. (Even if some of that justice is not in the best spirit)
All we can do is smile and say "Bless their little hearts".
At some point there after I have learned to pray for those who have wronged us, and leave it at the cross. Because if we don't it will eat at us for a long time.
I know this first hand.
I am happy to hear you are doing well. What a great testimony on how faith in Christ "CARRIES" us through our struggles.
TESTS - We face test every day. We are all the prodigal son, or the father, or the "faithful" son every day with every decision. Our job is to realize that is with every decision that we make that defines who we are.
You are fighting the good fight Kelli. Keep up the great work, but even better keep your amazing faith.
In HIM
scooter
At 7:51 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hey, Kelli! Thanks for the update and the inspiration. We are tested every day, aren't we? And, each test builds our character a bit stronger. We make choices and pray they are the right ones...the ones that lead us the direction God wants us to go. We bear and share each others burdens as Christ would have us do and that always makes the rough going much easier.
Rejoice today as it is Easter Sunday, the Lord is risen and is preparing a place for us all. God does love you, Kelli, as all his children.
Keep up your spirit and hang on to the hope for tomorrow.
Love again,
Aunt Janet
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